We couldn’t do too much business of course as we tried to stay below the regulatory radar and usually the new business we sought was simply to replace money which had been taken out by investors who had made their cash and then made a dash.
Occasionally, just occasionally though, one of our bigger investors would decide that he’d made enough and then there’d be a scramble to replace his dough. After all, my bonus from Daddy was based on both the size of the funds under investment and the returns we made and I use the word ‘we’ advisedly. We were a team and that meant everybody from the receptionist through the admin staff and on to the fund managers and the guys in the IT department. I had managed to get a payment scheme which most of the staff could only dream about but it was all based on team working, serving the client and keeping quiet, not necessarily in that order!
It was one such cash withdrawal which caused me a bit of a problem. The guy, who shall remain nameless but who was a professional gambler and who when he made a bundle, gave it to us rather than giving it back to the Las Vegas casinos, decided he needed a fancy new apartment in Monaco and withdrew $5 million ! Fucking $5 million, and he only gave us one month’s notice. I took a mental note to call Tanya and tell her that her contracts sucked – she needed to tighten up the withdrawal notice clauses – how the fuck was I going to get another $5 million in a month?
And then all my lucky stars fell from the sky at once.
Standing on the pier waiting for the ferry back to Manhatten I made the unforgiveable mistake of mentioning to Steve, my Head of IT that we needed to find some more funds and Steve, equally unforgiveable on his part, said we shouldn’t have too much trouble as we were now guaranteeing 10% and managing 22%.
Unknown to us, this conversation was overheard by another guy who was waiting for the ferry. Luckily, one of our secretaries, was also indiscreet enough to give him the name of our company when asked and the very next day, I got a call from ‘somebody’ who wanted to invest ‘up to $10 million’!
It turned out that the guy headed up an Eastern European investment syndicate and after a couple of meetings where we sussed each other out, I was invited to take a team out to Prague to meet the other investors and hopefully conclude the deal.
I’d never been to Prague so I was looking forward to a few days out of a hot and steamy NY and decided to take Steve with me as I knew it was his birthday when we’d be there. He was a terrific guy and despite the fact that he knew little about funds or investments when he joined us, had grasped the fundamentals of the business and had developed computer systems which had made us millions. I also asked one of the newer secretaries, Sanita, to join us as I definitely needed somebody to do some admin and take notes when we were with the client – sorry potential client. One of Sanita’s first tasks was to find a nice restaurant where we could hold the meeting with the client – no expense spared was the brief.
We arrived at the hotel early afternoon and I suggested a quick rest as we’d been travelling, albeit first class on American, for some 13 hours. Despite the fact that Sanita was a ‘babe’, as I’d learned to call them, I was determined not to ruin this trip by letting my dick rule my head, so it was single rooms for all of us – with no discreet inter-connecting doors.
We met up at the hotel bar at 4pm where a nicely chilled bottle of Bollinger was waiting for us. After pouring a glass for Steve and Sanita, I held my glass up and said, ‘Happy Birthday Steve.’ To say he was chuffed was an understatement. He never knew that we knew it was his birthday. It’s these little things which make a relationship work and make your staff loyal.
The meeting with the client, or should I say clients, they were going to be ten in total, was scheduled for 6.30pm and despite Sanita’s protestations that ‘everything would be perfect’, I wanted to check out the restaurant and ensure we had a private area where we could talk in confidence.
A cab across one of the many bridges to the restaurant only took us 10 minutes in the pre rush hour traffic
and I was delighted to find that the Cihelna was located right on the banks of the Vltava River with terrific views of the famous Charles Bridge. The table chosen by Sanita was perfect, the menus looked good and I took the precaution of pre-ordering the wine to accompany the meal. I didn’t want any thick Eastern European trying to prove he was a wine buff by pontificating over the wine list and I definitely didn’t want them ordering wine for me. I’d take their money but I wouldn’t take their wine recommendations.
Just as I was about to suggest we went back to the hotel for a coffee when the maitre d’ arrived with a wine cooler and a bottle of champagne. ‘On the house and for Mr Steve’s birthday’ he said. ‘How did he know’, Steve asked. Sanita and I looked at each other and shrugged. It was only Moet but it would do.
Despite promising myself that we’d behave ourselves alcohol-wise, Steve, Sanita and myself had a further bottle of Moet in addition to the free one and then moved onto coffee before the clients arrived. It was a truly beautiful location. The sun shone and the Vltava sparkled as it flowed past the restaurant’s garden we were sitting in.
The clients arrived at exactly 6.30pm and a motley bunch they were. Very rich apparently but that didn’t stop them looking like a collection of boring accountants. They refused a drink in the garden and wanted to get down to business immediately. At the table, the clients sat at one end with Steve and Sanita sitting beside and across from me. The main client sat to my left with his key investors across from him.
The maitre d’ suggested we have an aperitif as we perused the menu and whilst Steve, Sanita and myself had Gin and Tonics, the clients all had sparkling water! This was going to be a boring meeting. Boring, but hopefully very lucrative.
Halfway through the main course and with talks stumbling over both the amount and the duration of a much reduced $4 million investment, I started drinking heavily. At one point I said to the main man, ‘do you know I don’t get out of fucking bed for less than $10 million and I’ve had to fly halfway across the world to eat a crap steak and talk about a measly $4 million.’
He took my intended insult remarkably well and turned to talk to his colleagues. Steve ordered another bottle of wine and then lust took over. Both Steve’s eyes and mine became fixed on Sanita’s magnificent breasts. Beautifully framed and held in a pure white, body-hugging t-shirt, they were a feast for the eyes, especially eyes like mine which had not seeen a naked breast for over a month.
‘I’ll give you $100 if you take your t-shirt off’, I said. Sanita never flinched. ‘I’ll give you $200’, Steve countered.
‘I am NOT taking my t-shirt off for any amount of money’, stated Sanita, still taking the whole thing as a joke. The client however was beginning to lose interest in his own conversations and I noticed he was listening in, I assume hoping Sanita would take the cash and do a flash.
‘OK – let me throw a glass of water over your boobs so that I can see what you look like in a wet t-shirt’, I demanded.
‘Go on Sanita – it’s my birthday – get your boobs out’, shouted Steve forgetting he was sitting right next to her.
By this time, there were the beginnings of dissent from the other end of the table but I was on a roll and had already worked out that the $4 million was going to be more trouble than it was worth.
‘Go on – get them out Sanita’, I repeated, ignoring the maitre d’s requests to quieten down.
‘C’mon Steve. If Sanita wont get her boobs out, you get yours out and show her how it’s done’, I said, and without further ado, Steve ripped opened his shirt and sat there bare chested. Much hairier than I imagined Sanita to be but impressive nevertheless.
At this stage, I assume the drink took over and the piece of chocolate cake which had been set in front of me was taken and smeared all over a rather taken aback Steve’s chest. Not only that, I then proceeded to lick it off making sure I spent a rather unfortunate amount of time, making sure his nipples were licked well clean.
And then the silence. An unerring silence. A 100 seater restaurant in total silence with every eye in the place looking at a chocolate smeared chest and chocolate smeared lips and mouth.
The clients looked suitably appalled. There were mutterings between them but nobody moved. And then Steve said in his inimitable way, ‘another bottle of wine boss?’
Needless to say the $4m disappeared as quickly as the next two bottles of wine which Sanita, Steve and I drank. I wasn’t too worried about it – there’d be another rich sucker around the next corner. What I was worried about was what stories Sanita would tell back in the office and would I ever be able to convince her that I was not having a fling with Steve and that her and I were inevitably headed for the sack – and I don’t mean unemployment!
